on school terms usually the whole coop procedure of submitting applications and interviews take up a lot of time, some even say its a course in itself. but this term i think i’ve spent the same amount of time chasing down profs in the hopes of finding a research field and getting references. i never thought that it would be so difficult to locate profs (that’s why they have email and offices right?) but apparently it is and that doesn’t even take into account the time i wasted figuring out who to talk to, how to approach them and what i need them to do. all this effort has but one goal, to enroll in graduate studies.

i’m not sure how it is at other universities, but the application itself is a pain in the ass. keep in mind that i’m currently a student here, yet i have to find 3 academic references that will fill out a one page form answering a few questions about how i stand in comparison with other students. the university should really have that information on file somewhere. secondly, i have to have a supervisor and a research field before i can even apply. as an aside, waterloo has been complaining about the lack of graduate students for a while, and this seems like one of the major stumbling blocks for them (the others being money, prestige). for a current student, it’s not too difficult to find a supervisor, but for someone who has no contacts here at waterloo, it would be much more difficult. anyways assuming i can get it, i still don’t know if i want to continue with this.

there are a lot of reasons why doing graduate studies would be a good thing, but some of the reasons are hard to weigh at this stage of the game. it’s nice to say that getting further education will open more opportunities for you later, or you may get paid more later; but later is too far in the future too think about and it may not even come true. i’ve heard stories where people are overqualified and couldn’t find a job. so while those do weigh in my decision, they don’t really swing me one way or another.

there are several other reasons for graduate school. one is the hope that research will be more interesting than taking breadth courses. frankly, i’m not interested in 90% of the tech courses i take, but i have hopes that research in a field of my choosing will be more interesting. the second reason is that everyone nowadays has some sort of university education. before, when a high school degree may have been enough to get a job and live your life, i may have been satisfied with an undergraduate degree, but the bar’s been raised now. you need a university education. being from a chinese family where education is important, it’s been ingrained in me since babyhood to go further; to be better. you don’t cut it being average if you’re an immigrant. now, i’m a first generation so my perceptions are somewhat different but it’s difficult to overcome cultural forces.

over the last little while, i’ve been thinking and talking with other people about these ideas, and i’ve come to the conclusion that while the previous reasons are factors of why i want to do graduate school, the largest reason is fear of the future. i remember back in high school, my friend peter and i would always talk about the future, sometimes depressingly but we also thought that it would be nice to finally be out of school and geting on with our lives. it’s the same future now that’s creeping up on me and while the promise of freedom from school is enjoyable there’s also a lot of new challenges in life (career, financial obligations, marriage, leaving the safety net of home).

maybe it’s just me, but when i sit down and think about it; it’s a lot of change, a lot of moving on from where i am now. while school is tedious and tiresome, i’m used to the predictability and repetitious nature of it. if you break down life into four major stages (baby time, school, work, retired), this is the first major change in which you’re fully aware of what’s going to happen and what’s going to change. i don’t know about you, but it’s scary.

to be fair, there are many benefits of not continuing my education. every term at some point, everyone goes enough is enough. school sucks. no matter how enthusiastic you are about school, or how much you enjoy the material you’re learning, there is stress, and the stress will get to you some way or another. when you have an easy out, and that’s to not take any more school than required, it’s hard not to take the option. why put yourself through all this shit? i’m the same as everyone else, i really don’t want to do any more school. that in itself is enough of a deterrent for a lot of people.

secondly, while the future is scary, it’s also promising. all that time thinking about the future when i was younger, it’s so close now. it’s realizable. i want to actually have the time and means to enjoy a more unstructured life. when i was younger (and much like other asian children), school was everything. you lived and breathed marks. well i have a better understanding of how things work now and so school isn’t as high on my priority list anymore. and it gets in the way of things that i would rather do. is it really worth it to spend so much time and effort for a possibility when there are so many other things that i would rather be doing?

sometimes i make it seem like i’ve made my choice, but i haven’t discounted just graduating with a bachelor’s (it’s easier to drop the whole application then to fill it out in a day). it’s tough making the decision to take graduate school now, but i also know that after you’ve worked 2 or 3 years in the industry, it’ll be even tougher to leave that life and become a student once again. really, it’s just one decision, but it’ll change my life.

Posted by Kevin in Blogs Tags: uwaterloo.ca